I hate it when anyone says that female masculinity is accepted. It doesn’t matter if they’re a masculist where they say that women can be masculine and it’s accepted while men cannot be feminine; or if they’re a feminist that says feminine men aren’t accepted because women and looking like a woman are hated by society.
Society sees me as a woman and I’m masculine. Society doesn’t accept me, and never really has. There were those brief years of acceptance when I was five or six, but after that came harsh criticism and bullying by everyone; my family, my friends, schoolmates, people I didn’t know. People of all ages taunt me and look down on me because of the way I present myself, that isn’t acceptance. I get called a dyke, I’m told no man will ever love me (they assume I’m straight), I’m harassed, I get made fun of.
(I’m speaking of my own experiences of course, I can’t speak for everyone. But people I’ve talked to that are/were masculine have had similar stories)
Society doesn’t put general masculinity on a pedestal above femininity. Femininity isn’t hated, it never was, and probably never will be. If femininity was so hated society would look down on anyone, regardless of gender, who was feminine.
What society does hate is when people go against the grain and present themselves in a way that isn’t widely accepted within society. A grown woman who is masculine will get looks and will be criticized just as a man who is feminine will be.
Society doesn’t hate feminine men because they hate women and/or femininity. They hate feminine men because those men don’t meet the criteria for what society considers a man.
Interesting new perspective.
I would probably say that female masculinity is more accepted than male femininity, but not entirely accepted. The gender binary is still pressing down on all of us, it’s just that women are a little bit more liberated. They can wear masculine clothing, have masculine jobs, play masculine roles in society, have masculine hobbies and interests, and typically they are not thought of as worse women. Whereas men face a much higher stigma, due to the lack of a substantial equality movement to liberate them. I definitely oppose the idea of ‘femmephobia’, the idea you’ve described as feminists having, because it simply doesn’t fit the facts or the history. I would take a less extreme version of the argument you’ve described as the masculist one, though. Men and women leaving their associated role can both be accepted in this modern culture to a certain extent, but both are limited. I would argue that, in many areas, the wider influence of feminism would mean that women are less limited. But it’s wrong to state it as extremes: it’s only a matter of degrees.