[TW for rape]
Let’s teach men not to rape.
We should teach men that no means no.
I can’t speak for all men, but I have morals. From experience, I would also hazard a guess that most men do. Unless you’re suggesting that men are naturally evil, then maybe my shot in the dark there might be on to…
I’m a socially literal person, so I take people for what they say, hate subtlety and can’t understand sarcasm. I had an ex-girlfriend once who used to say “Stop” a lot, giggling. After I kept halting abruptly during sex, she had to explain to me that “Stop” is flirty girly talk for “Keep going”. Men speak bluntly and plainly; women express meaning in more intricate ways — in general. It annoys me that we have these “No means no” campaigns when women very demonstrably like to speak with a lot more subtlety than these posters imply.
That awkward moment when captainjackjohnson and just-smith don’t fucking understand rape culture, due to willful ignorance. Do you know why ‘no means yes’ is so prevalent in film etc, asshats? It’s because of rape culture. It’s not some feminist construction designed to hurt all men. Given you think you are so literate, you should probably research that. Stop trying to make excuses for rape, and slide away from blame, and start being decent people because right now you just look pathetic.
The awkward moment when nobody said it was a feminist construction designed to hurt all men. The awkward moment when I said it was rape culture, and that’s why we need to address it. The awkward moment when nobody was making excuses for rape, and wanted to address this aspect to rape culture to prevent rape from happening. The awkward moment when you clearly didn’t read the post. Try again. No, seriously. I explain it slightly better here, so read that, and then you can call me pathetic and I will listen to what is problematic and I will change it. But don’t just lash out without actually reading the points, because that’s not helping anybody. I want your feedback, but this isn’t it. So try again. Seem reasonable?
I read your posts, both the original and second ones, and you’re still wrong. Maybe you didn’t understand, so I will make it easy for you.
Rape culture, created by the patriarchy, is not an excuse for rape, and saying “Oh the poor men are confused, but we shouldn’t teach them no means no because that will confuse them more!” is ridiculous. Like, blatantly ridiculous. Being ‘confused’ is no excuse for rape, and it suggests that rapists are just good people who were tricked, when really they are people who perpetuated a violent crime against another person, without any regard for that person. Talking about how women perpetuate rape culture and therefore enable rapists is also ridiculous. It’s blaming women for something which oppresses them and those who do not identify as possessing a binary gender more than anyone else. Saying ‘no’ when you mean ‘yes’ in a clearly consensual situation with a partner is not perpetuating rape culture, because as you say, men are not lumbering or incapable, they have the same intellectual capacity as women, which means that they should be able to differentiate (protip: it’s through communication) between consensual play, and rape. Wanting to be courted is not perpetuating rape culture. Please read up on rape culture some more. Yes, we need to combat rape culture by making people aware of it. But telling people not to educate men, who are rapists in just under 9/10 cases, not to rape, is counter-productive. That needs to be a part of wider education, but it needs to be said anyway.
For the record, it was you expressing a bad point badly.
No, you still haven’t read the new post. Do you know how I know? It’s because in that post I meake it easy for YOU. I explain why I’m not saying that rape can be justified. I explain why I’m not saying that anybody is to blame but the rapist. I explain why I’m not against rape education, and am actually calling for MORE. You may have scanned your eyes over it, but you clearly haven’t READ it. You still think I’m coming from this ‘it’s a woman’s fault if she’s not being clear and a man rapes her’ angle, which is worlds apart from my real message. I admitted that I might not have been clear in the first post, which is why I then MADE it incredibly clear in the recent one. That means that you can’t even hide behind that excuse, because I broke it down into individual points and spelled out where people had assumed an opinion which I didn’t in fact hold. If you’d READ it, you wouldn’t now be accusing me of those opinions, because you’ll have noted that I explicitly stated that I disagreed with them. Try again, and thus time read with your brain and not just your eyes. I’m still willing to have this discussion if you can criticise the points I’ve actually made, or the opinions I actually hold: you know, the ones I just clearly outlined. Third time lucky?